everyone is single if you try hard enough
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
