Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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