Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
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Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
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I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize