so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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