Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
