i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
