Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
