I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
