Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
