oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
