See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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