I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
