He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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