He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
