There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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