two words: eviction party
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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