How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
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And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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