Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
