last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
