k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
