Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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