I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
