i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
