Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
