I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
