it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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