I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
