Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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