People in love make me want to vomit
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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