I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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