if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
