so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Rumble strips road head = magical
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
