It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
