STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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