On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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