I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
