tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
