SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
