I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
