if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
