Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
