I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
