yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
