i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
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Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
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do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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