Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize