Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
