College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
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The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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