So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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