I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
