Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
why didn't you poke me back
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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