After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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