watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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