since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
