How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
