Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize