I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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