last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
