): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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