I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
