So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
